Counseling for Grief Related Abandonment
For some adults, abandonment issues may give rise to seek the help of a therapist or counselor. Abandonment most often stems from fears that a significant person in one’s life will abandon them because of what one learned in early childhood experiences or because emotional needs were not met.
There are two general types of abandonment: Physical abandonment and Emotional abandonment. Physical abandonment can stem from some type of perceived loss, such as loss of a loved one, loss of a protector through abuse, or divorce. During childhood, physical abandonment can cause for feelings to develop which may make the child believe the world is unsafe, that people cannot be trusted, or that they do not deserve to be cared for. As adults, often times those feelings carry with us as we grow up and can contribute to other feelings such as, poor self-esteem, self-doubt, and self-confidence.
However, abandonment does not only refer to physical loss, it is very common for one to experience emotional abandonment as well. Emotional abandonment refers to feelings of loneliness, fear of rejection, fear of not being accepted amongst ones peers, and the feeling of not having anyone to care for or love you. That feeling of having a lack of emotional support in your life.
For some, abandonment is not an issue, as they seem to cope in different ways and adjust to their lives. For others, abandonment can become a great source of psychological pain and emotional distress. Often times, we recognize our own fears and seek out counseling for help. Other times, old abandonment issues are discovered in therapy as a source of some of one’s underlying problems, as these fears can lead to challenges with depression, anxiety, and other feelings.
Some symptoms of fear of abandonment include, anxiety, difficulty expressing their feelings, obsessive thoughts, discomfort with the thought someone is angry with us, excessive worrying, feeling alone, feeling left out, inability to trust, difficulties in relationships, feeling like something is wrong with yourself, and expectations of being abandoned. Coping with these feelings can be overwhelming, which inspires some to seek the help of a licensed mental health counselor.
The root of some of the feelings of abandonment can sometimes be traced to childhood truama where there is some history of abandonment indicated. This could be from the death of a parent, loss of a caregiver, and many other reasons. During childhood there are critical stages of development which are significant in forming the thought processes that we utilize into adulthood. These early abandonment challenges can sometimes produce difficulty in managing our own emotions and carries into adulthood.
A therapist can assist the client in learning how to cope with these types of issues and can be productive for you because you can learn how to change your emotional thoughts about being abandoned, learn to maintain better intimate relationships, learn how to re-parent yourself, or other challenges which can lead you to a healthier lifestyle.
A trained therapist can also assist you in a safe and trusting environment in which you can comfortably express your fears and needs, and not feel vulnerable to being judged for feeling the guilt or shame that are often associated with the emotions related to fears of abandonment.
It is also important to remember that you are not alone! There is help available to you and therapy can provide a safe, supportive, non-threatening environment to you. Together, you and your therapist can develop a plan of treatment specific to your needs. Please contact Dana Nolan and receive a brief free phone consultation.
Finding the right counselor is important, therapeutic relationships are built on trust, honesty and mutual respect between the therapist and the client. It is important to find a counselor with whom you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings AND who has the necessary expertise to help you reach your goals. For that reason, we offer a free brief phone consultation to ensure that we are the right fit for you. If you would like to discuss some other issue(s), please don’t hesitate to contact Dana Nolan at 407-340-2474.